Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes. Matthew 6:25 (NIV)

The Depth of Life – The Seekers Series – Part 4

Go to PART 1  |  PART 2  |  PART 3  |  PART 4  |  PART 5

Confession: I struggle with disappointment.

I thought by now my house would be bigger, my bank account would be fuller, my body would be happier, and my reputation would be wider. I thought these things were the hallmarks of success and that I would have them. Achievement, sanity, applause, recognition (we’re being honest right?)… they still seem elusive.

A couple of years ago, I found myself in a place where I couldn’t understand why life wasn’t going according to ‘the plan?’ (read: my assumptions and projections of success and achievement). Where was my big designer house that looks awesome on social media and my fat bank account and my glowing reputation and my uncomplicated sanity? Why didn’t my body shrink straight back after having 2 kids, and why did my hair fall out when I struggled with depression? Why was my genuine hard work going unnoticed and unvalued, never seeming to be enough?

I had dreams and plans, and not many of them were coming to pass.

I don’t think I’m alone in these thoughts. We’re bombarded with messages every day through media, conversation, social bias, preference pushers, big brands, movies, music, blogs and more about who we should be and what we should have.

Success is so often defined by the size of your clothes, the size of your home, where you bought the furniture, if you made your furniture, what designer you’re wearing and how many times you’ve worn it, where you studied, who your leader is, how many you lead, and what you wear while leading, what you’ve achieved, and how many people know you on Twitter. We subconsciously seek results over relationships and chase prosperity instead of seeking joy in simplicity.

What is success?

I’m only disappointed in my life when I measure it in terms of how much of the world I have obtained, and how much I have obtained compared to others. When all you seek is temporary, the fulfillment of those things is temporary also. Shallow and unsatisfying. Fleeting. Slippery (perhaps that's the real slippery slope we should be scared of).

Jesus taught not to worry about these temporary things in terms of how they estimate our value… don’t worry about what you wear, what you eat, where you live… But seek the eternal, the depth of life; walk a path that is more about who you are than what you have. Seek first the Kingdom. And somehow in the background, bills get paid (sometimes), bellies get filled, clothes are worn. These things don’t define who we are or our success. We seek after something much more fulfilling.

And I'll add this: the seasons where you can’t pay your bills, and you struggle to put food on the table don’t define your value either. Most of us have been there and will be again. There is no shame in it.

My value lies not in what I have, or what I’ve done, but in whose I am and what I am becoming. So rather than being disappointed about a conflated list of standards and successes made by people who don’t love me or know me, I’ll turn my disappointment to other things, and use it as a driving force to seek change, equality, and justice.

“And all these things…” the temporary, the tangible, the stuff… don’t make you meaningful, so stop seeking for your meaning in them. You bring them meaning, not the other way around you.

If love is success, then we are indeed successful. Loved by God, with more to learn, more to become… more to find.

We best keep on seeking.

Go to Part 5 – A Seeker of Truth, Beauty, and Wonder »

Written by Liz Milani

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