But I wasn’t. On Monday I realized (admitted) that it is still painful. That I am still angry.
On Tuesday I saw my Chiropractor and Kinesiologist.
She reminded me that when I hide negative emotions, pretend they’re not there and refuse to deal with them, they become destructive, wreaking havoc on the mind, soul, and body.
Powerful, two minute reads that have helped change the script in thousands of people's lives.
My Chiropractor went on to remind me that in confession, sharing, “light exposure,” that our negative emotions, fears, pain, heartache, worry and more, lose their destructive power in our lives.
It’s no wonder that confession is one of the Sacraments.
James wrote that we should:
“Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.” (James 5:16).
Paul wrote to his friends in Ephesus and said:
“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.” (Eph 5:11-13 NIV).
When we take into account the use of hyperbole in the Biblical Text, Paul was making an exaggeration to drive a point home. It is impossible to have nothing to do with darkness. It is within us and around us. (Unless you'd like to tell me that you are perfect and perfect things happen all around you). But he does give us some tools to move forward: expose the darkness, look for the light, find the stars (yesterday's devotion), share with a friend, confess to a confidant. Don’t keep things hidden in the dark.
“Everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.”
I now have an anger journal. It’s a place for me to unleash, expose and talk about my anger rather than keeping it bottled in my body where it causes further trauma. We can pretend that darkness doesn't exist within us, but that won't lead to healing. We must walk them out into the light.
In a way, even in this short time, the anger I have felt is itself becoming light, revealing to me my values, my sense of justice and where I should aim my attention.
I’m sleeping better, too.
To be continued…
Written by Liz Milani