Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:3 (ESV)
Too Blessed To Be Stressed – The Cliché Series – Part 4
Go to PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7
Are you too blessed to be stressed?
Stress starts in our brains, in the amygdala. Which is what some refer to as the brain's “alarm system.” It fires up when we need to pay special attention to a situation or when we are in imminent danger – It’s trying to keep us safe. It activates the nervous system and floods us with adrenalin and cortisol, two things we need when we’re in danger or facing a big event. Research tells us that stress is not the problem: what we believe about it makes all the difference (1). We spend so much time and energy trying to avoid it, stressing about how much stress we’re facing, that we fail to receive the message that our friend, stress, has for us.
Yes, stress can be our friend, if we embrace it. It becomes our enemy when we don’t relate to it as we should. And the more we ignore it and mistreat it, the louder it tries to be heard. Meet Chronic Stress, which IS bad for you.
Here’s an interesting thing I learned about stress from Dr Kelly McGonigal's presentation at Ted (Google: “How To Make Stress Your Friend“):
The hormone Oxytocin, has been nicknamed the cuddle hormone because it’s released when we hug someone. It makes us crave human connection and physical contact. But Oxytocin is also a stress hormone. Our Pituitary Gland pumps it into our bodies as part of the stress response for two reasons:
1) It urges us to seek support, to reach out, tell our story, ask for help. Caring creates resilience on both sides: in the asking for it and the giving of it.
2) It regenerates our heart cells from any harm or damage that’s been caused due to stress.
Dr Kelly goes on to say: The “physical benefits of oxytocin are enhanced by social contact and social support. So when you reach out to others under stress, either to seek support or to help someone else, you release more of this hormone, your stress response becomes healthier, and you actually recover faster from stress. I find this amazing, that your stress response has a built-in mechanism for stress resilience, and that mechanism is human connection.”
The problem is that we over communicate and under connect. We shout from our Social Media status updates, but fail to open up with our loved ones at the kitchen table. We share pictures and articles, but refrain from telling each other our hurts and holding each other close.
Stress can be our friend: it’s an alarm system trying to keep us safe and make us aware of the people and places and decisions that need our attention. “Chasing meaning is better for your health than trying to avoid discomfort,” says Dr Kelly. So, rather than trying to avoid stress and eliminate it from our lives (which studies show only invites weakness and atrophy to our lives and bodies (2). we should seek to understand what it's trying to tell us, and follow the process through all the way to the end. Which includes rest and recovery.
It brings a different light to the beatitudes (Matthew 5), which is basically a list of blessings that go hand in hand with horrible and humbling things. It’s the edge of life circumstances where we find meaning and connection and community. And if we don’t pay attention to them? If we ignore them, avoid them, or fill our lives full of distractions and busy-ness so that we don’t have to face them? It hurts not only our hearts, but our bodies and minds, too.
Does the cliché too blessed to be stressed work? I'll let you be the judge of that.
Go to It Is Well With My Soul – The Cliché Series – Part 5
Written by Liz Milani
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FOOTNOTES:
1. ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend
2. hbr.org/2012/04/stress-is-not-your-enemy.html
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