Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness will be filled. Matthew 5:6 (NIV)
The Deepest Truest Sense – Hunger Series – Part 5
Go to PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7
I’m not sure I’ve ever felt “filled.”
Somedays I’m so tired, so fed up, overwhelmed with work and the temptation to quit. Other days, memories of painful experiences well up in me without permission threatening to drown me in destructive feelings and beliefs. Other days, I just couldn’t give a crap. I feel so carefree and light, I’d rather ditch it all and go to the beach – c’est la vie.
In our culture, we over eat, over shop, over consume, binge till we’re sick – binge everything: TV, alcohol, success, work, exercise, social media, video games, cooking, cleaning… anything can be binged. We use it all to drown out that nagging hunger that just won’t go away. And it nags so because we can’t find what satisfies it.
I’m not going to use cheesy Christian cliches about what will satiate this hunger. Things like:
– There’s a God-shaped hole in all of us.
– Jesus is the answer.
– Go to church more, read your Bible more, pray more, believe more.
Because they don’t work.
In fact, I think, becoming aware and awake to the Divine only enlivens this inner hunger. I’ve been a ‘Christian’ most of my life, a Pastor's Kids, and was a Pastor myself for a time, and the hunger was always there. I even used ministry and worship and prayer to try and drown out that nagging empty feeling in my stomach that craved to be filled. Shouldn't Jesus have done that? Once and for all?
And I think I know why: we seek righteousness outside of ourselves.
We try to achieve it, rather than enter into it. We try and be good enough for it, rather than just accept it. We think it comes from somewhere far away, because how can anything good and holy and righteous come from within us?
Here’s the thing: You are the righteousness of God. You are the ‘temple’ of his presence. You have something miraculous housed in your “jar of clay” that lives and moves and breathes within you.
“Jesus promises that when the hunger arises within you to find your own deepest aliveness within God’s aliveness, it will be satisfied—in fact, the hunger itself is a sign that the bond is already in place. As we enter the path of transformation, the most valuable thing we have working in our favor is our yearning. Some spiritual teachers will even say that the yearning you feel for God is actually coming from the opposite direction; it is, in fact, God’s yearning for you.” Cynthia Bourgeault. (1.)
That's why when you “draw near to the divine, he/she draws near to you.” (James 4:8). It’s mutual. As you find the deepest truest sense of God in your life, you simultaneously find your deepest, truest sense of yourself. You discover who you are the more you discover God in your life. To live with the righteousness of God – to be found in the aliveness of his presence – is how you feed that otherworldly hunger in your soul. It’s to find that you truly belong and are loved right here, right now, as you are.
But as with physical hunger where you eat, your satisfied for a time, but then you empty, and the hunger returns; so the spirit never stays full.
I don’t think we’re ever meant to be totally satisfied. I don’t think satisfaction is the end goal. Paul said that he had learned to be content in all things, yet he still strived forward (Phil 3 & 4). There was more for him beyond his present contentment.
Perhaps the goal isn't satisfaction, but fostering a healthy sense of hunger.
Go to Part 6 – Take and Eat, This is My Body »
Written by Liz Milani