My friend Sarah was over the other day and another friend who had never been to my house before popped in.
People email me, comment on my posts; my friends talk to me over cups of tea about my work. They encourage and congratulate me. And most of the time, I face their words with silence. I might shed a tear, go red in the face, feel warm and tingly, but rarely do I say thank you. I excuse the praise away with deflecting comments.
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1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 were verses I loved to hate – how can anyone be that positive?!
“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances.”
But as I’ve grown to understand joy, prayer, and thankfulness as being awake, aware and alive to the divinity all around me and within me – the presence of God in my life – these verses have come alive.
Now, most nights, as I’m heading off to sleep I thank my body.
“Thank you for all your hard work today. You did a great job; you can rest now.”
Those few words are changing my life. My body has become part of my ‘self' again – not something absent from my spirit, but a member of my Trinitarian make up. The “thanks” has brought healing.
More and more, I’m “owning” my home (not just buying it back from the bank), my life, and not apologizing for it. “This is it, warts, scuff marks, and all – and ain't she beautiful.” I’m thankful for it, not ashamed of it. The “thanks” has brought joy.
Humbly, I’m starting to say “thank you” when people encourage me. It’s not an ego thing; it’s a divine exchange. And the thanks is bringing connection and fulfillment to my life.
What would happen if we thanked our neighbors, partners, teachers, friends, parents, and children more often? If our go-to words and attitudes were thankfulness rather than anger, frustration, entitlement and deflection? I’m not saying that we ignore the bad and ugly parts of life. But let’s stop ignoring the good parts. Let’s put them on the top of the list. “Thankfulness” builds bridges, makes pathways and connects hearts. What would happen if, when we rang our local member, and before we launched into our concerns, frustrations, and anxieties about our communities and countries, we thanked them?
Being thankful doesn’t ignore what’s wrong in the world. It recognizes the gift and the grace that life is, and creates a place for us to humbly meet in the middle where good, honest and healing work can be done.
Written by Liz Milani
Crying as I write this.
I can't look in the mirror yet. But my therapist says I'm getting there.
I care for someone with an eating disorder that requires scrutiny. They can look in the mirror for hours.
I grew in an abused situation regarding body size but the glorious God given gift as an adopted child in a skinny family was boundless optimism and imagination. Underneath a well of pain.
Last week I had my gallery bladder removed and since then my “thankfulness ” seems to have morphed into fragility. The op went well but the first thing the Dr said to me was”you have a very fatty liver”. I was brave enough to say “we'll discuss it in your office”. I'm trying to heal the scars but the body scar is wide open and I'm grumpy. The other God given gift is that I'm a puppy, a strong puppy but one that requires occasional hugs coming from a family that didn't touch. My gene pool is far more generous. I love them so much though they are so clever and as they get older, gentler to me. So I thank you for once again being spot on to where I'm at today. Oh and thank your ransomed Spirit! Praying into my dichotomy of self loathing, healing and God's great love. Thanks for reading