Here I am Lord, send me. Isaiah 6:8 (NIV)
Hit Rock Bottom – The Here I Am Series – Part 3
“Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?”
Francis Healy went to Israel for a holiday so he could leave the rains of Scotland behind and enjoy some quality sunshine. But it rained from the moment he got off the plane to the moment he got back on. He wrote this song (the lines above) for his band Travis on the way home to try and cheer himself up.
Have you ever asked, why me? Why does it always seem to rain on me? Why does crap always seem to happen to me?
Do you compare yourself to others? Negatively? Why me and not them?
It’s super easy to get caught in a “why me” loop. Especially when it seems like everyone else is trouble free. We look for something to blame, too. Quite quickly the “why me” loop can morph into an “I always do the wrong thing” downward spiral.
Why me? It must be because I’m defective.
(Feeling encouraged yet?)
You know what? No one is trouble free. I’m dealing with something, you’re dealing with something else, and someone we don’t know is dealing with something else entirely, and we can all say “Why me,” feel alone, hard done by, and like it isn’t fair.
And perhaps it’s not fair. What's happening in your life, mine, and your neighbors could be the furthest thing from fair that there is.
But where you are is where you are. Whether you got yourself there, or not. It is what it is.
Which can be the most defeated thing to say or the most powerful thing to say.
Before I get ahead of myself, let me say this: comparison will do you no favors. That girl on Instagram, that guy at the office, the person driving the taxi, the woman behind the counter, your best friend a town away; they may not be going through what you are. But they are going through something, or least have before and will again. Let that be a source of solidarity. Your circumstances may be unique, but the fact that you struggle is not.
The “Why me?” question is one that we all ask. But it’s not a question we should cling to.
“Here I am” has been my antidote to “Why me?” It’s my “This is where I am, right here at this moment, with this stuff going on, and these resources.” It helps me face it, be present in it for what it is, no comparisons, no hiding, no “why me.” Owning it. Offering my total availability.
For the Biblical characters mentioned yesterday, this was their “Here I am” – total availability and responsibility to what was happening – more than “I’m over here, pick me.”
As one of my literary heroes says:
“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” (J.K. Rowling.)
Here I am. In this. On this. Exactly as it is. And I’m ready to work with it.
So if you’ve hit rock bottom, overall or in a certain situation, it’s okay. Even if it seems like it's raining a lot right now, you can do this. Instead of focusing on “why me?” and comparing yourself to everyone else's highlight reels, look yourself in the mirror and say:
Here. I. Am.
There’s power in that admission.
Written by Lizzy Milani
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