Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Ephesians 3:17 (NLT)
Trust is Vulnerability – The Home Series (updated) – Part 2
(back by popular request, edited and updated!)
Go to PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7
It’s hard to tell who we can trust, what should be trusted with whom, and if we, ourselves, are trustworthy. Somehow within our culture, it’s become OK to spend intimate moments with complete strangers. Exchanging words, stories, embraces with people we will never see again. Things reserved for more sacred moments. And then, we withhold our trust from those we do life with, day in and day out. We don’t tell them our secrets; we withhold our vulnerability, we wall up. We place obstacle courses around out hearts to warn us in case they start to get too close.
Trust is hard work. Risky work.
It can seem easier to trust a stranger with our sacred “stuff” because once they’re gone, they’re gone. Never to be seen again. We don’t have to face that moment of vulnerability with them day after day. That's one way social media is a poor substitute for flesh and blood moments. You can share vulnerability with someone over the interwebs, invite them into the home of your heart and mind for a moment, but once the exchange is complete, you don’t have to face them. This is what gives Cyber Bullies their confidence. But it is misplaced, and a sign of weakness rather than strength. And I kid you not, 90% of the negative feedback we get comes from people whose profiles are private. The internet can create the image of vulnerability, but often not its depths.
Trusting people that you see every day, that you live with, that you share blood with? That takes strength and courage. That is a trust that can only be earned by living. It's not instant, it's learned. Trust the trust process.
The road to trust is vulnerability. Open the door to your life and let people in. (Little by little, day by day). Taking a risk – a step of faith – on what they’ll think and feel and do once they’re inside. The only option we have other than trusting is not to trust. And that leads us to a life of isolation and loneliness.
Brené Brown says,
“Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.”
It’s not that God waits until we trust him to make his home with us. As we learn to trust him – through engagement and experience, steps of faith – his presence becomes more familiar, homely. It’s always been there, but our awareness and engagement of it bring it to the surface; to its fullness. Trust is done on the way, in the living. Moment by moment, day by day.
Go to Part 3 – Keep Open House »
Written by Lizzy Milani
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I love this series but I was thinking about the sharing stuff with strangers bit. When I was 21 I was backpacking around Europe. We would meet up strangers that is in hostels and there I learnt to share my secrets and there I learnt about betrayal and trust and changing peoples lives and peoples lives changing mine. . meanwhile back home I moved alot and perhaps because I was lonely in different places I would share too much and some people didn’t like it they said they needed space. So what I learnt was some people were open and some people were closed. . I guess what I’m trying to say is that it is important to talk to strangers to share secrets because they teach us how to talk to friends and family it’s just that these days it’s on groups on social media rather than face to face and that’s tricky. But I needed all those interactions to learn about myself and you know when you talk to strangers you learn to talk about god more comfortably because it’s really hard in a non Christian family to talk about god. So I would suggest we continue to talk to strangers in fact when I was younger my mother freaked me out by talking to strangers all the time and on Monday I turned 59 and now I talk to strangers all the time and embarrass my nieces. I just read a millennial piece in tatler magazine which is a whole other story and this person said I quote “I wish that we had learnt to talk face to face and be comfortable with it just like our parents generation”. So I guess that’s our duty if it takes a village to raise a child, we need to tell them how to talk to strangers we need to show them how to talk to strangers because they honestly would like to but they don’t understand why how. As for the people that find it hard to share secrets that too is a whole other story and in those stories I usually backstories and it is in places like pocket fuel where those people have a chance to think 2 maybe take a risk but they also need help so people who have no filter like me, other ones like Brene Brown who need to help people learn to tell stories. Thanks for reading.