Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
There's Nothing Shameful About Learning – The Receive Series – Part 4
Go to PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5
Sometimes you need a little wisdom, a little correction, a little admonishment.
My kids, five and seven, already struggle with feeling ashamed when they get something wrong, make a mistake, or get in trouble. It’s bewildering. I remind them that they’re just learning. They don’t yet know how to fold their clothes, or where to put everything, or how to vacuum. And they need help. Mum and Dad are learning, still. And correction helps us learn.
I find it super easy to encourage my kids in this; I find it super challenging to practice it myself.
I instantly feel shame when I am corrected. Especially by someone I know. Doing something wrong, needing help, getting corrected, or having to be shown how to do something properly is a shame trigger in our day and age. And I get it.
There has been much so much abuse of power and authority in communities of faith, educational institutions, corporations, governments, families and more, that it makes receiving correction even more troublesome. I get that there needs to be a decent amount of trust and vulnerability when being corrected. This post isn’t about how to tell which corrections you should heed or not (that’s a different series that I haven’t written… yet), it’s about our cultural resistance to being told/shown/taught how to do something.
Pride is a nasty little fellow. It’s the main culprit behind our inability to receive correction. Whether it be from our partners, our parents, our kids, or our friends. Pride makes us want to be seen as all-knowing and all-capable. It’s easy to mistake correction for persecution when pride constantly has the run of our mind and heart.
But honestly, who is all-knowing and all-capable? We’ve learned everything we know from someone else. Whether it was taught to us, done to us, or shown us. It’s a continuous communal experience. We’re all involved in learning until the day we leave this life for what comes next. Either we’re open to it, or we’re not. And being open to it is a challenge that takes practice.
There's nothing shameful about learning. In fact, it’s connective and creates progress in our lives, skills, and relationships.
PRACTICE:
Be willing to learn. When someone wants to teach you something, or correct you, and you feel resistant to it, take a step back and analyze why. Is it pride? Can you learn something helpful here? If yes, give yourself to the lesson with all humility and vulnerability. It will only make you stronger.
“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Go to Worthy of Self Love – The Receive Series – Part 5 »
Written by Liz Milani
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