Jesus said, “You’re absolutely right. Take it from me: Unless a person is born from above, it’s not possible to see what I’m pointing to—to God’s kingdom.” John 3:3 (MSG)
The Piece and Quiet Fear – Part 2
Go to PART 1
“Master, we know that you are a teacher from God, for no one performs the miracle signs that you do, unless God’s power is with him.”
Jesus Answered “Nicodemus, listen to this eternal truth: You can perceive the kingdom realm of God, but you must first experience a rebirth.”
Nicodemus said, “Rebirth? How can a grey-headed man be reborn? It’s impossible for a man to go back into the womb a second time and be reborn!” John 3:2-4 (The Passion Translation)
I was at a conference recently in Sydney called, SPARC. It’s a gathering of creatives who are engaged in Spirituality, Arts and Culture – SPARC. Somewhat reluctantly, I took a framed piece of lettering I had done, and a little devotion I had written, to display in the gallery they had set up for the weekend. ‘Reluctantly' because I don’t consider myself an artist. Every other piece on display was exquisite – photography, watercolour, oil paintings… incredible pieces that evoked emotion and touched the soul. Real Art. And then, my piece. I struggled a little with my confidence, but I felt challenged to leave my piece out anyway, to let it be. I literally popped it on a spare shelf and then did my best to forget about it.
I’ve always wanted to be an artist. I’ve always desired to create, write, put out into the world something from my spirit, something eternally inspired and have it impact the lives of others “for glory and for beauty.” (SPARC quote). But as I compared my work to the work of others in that gallery, fear snaked in, a whisper that said I would never be a true artist, always just a hack. On Saturday evening, after the conference had finished, I was sitting in the auditorium saying my goodbyes, when a lady approached me and said something quite unexpected.
She wanted to buy my piece.
“What do you mean? Buy my piece? Is that even possible? I’m not sure that will work? Are you sure? You don’t have to? Is money even a real thing? What piece?”
These were my responses.
Internally, at the sound of her request, I was flooded with both fear and hope. Fear that she didn’t mean it and I hadn’t heard correctly… but incredible hope that she did mean it. That maybe my art is making a difference, there is a place for it. This crazy mix blurted out my mouth in sarcastic, doubt-filled, confused tones.
Perhaps this is what happened to Nicodemus? Maybe he wasn’t being stubborn or hard to get along with as some commentaries suggest. After all, rebirth was not a foreign concept to the Jewish people. Jesus himself said back to him, “Nicodemus, aren’t you the respected teacher in Israel, and yet you don’t understand this revelation?”
Sometimes we use what we know as backstops, foundations, and ceilings to fit the understanding and processing of our lives into. Our previous experiences become the containers we live out of. This might be what was happening to Nicodemus. Jesus didn’t ask him to abandon all that he knew, all that he had experienced… none of it was wasted or deemed irrelevant at the dawn of a new day, the New Way… Jesus wanted him to use these things as tools – not backstops, but leg ups – to see what he was trying to reveal.
Don’t see “to” the sum of your knowledge, but through it and beyond. It’s your tool, not your crutch.
It was to this midnight seeker, this ageing man wracked with questions and change, whose way of life was unravelling right before his eyes, that Jesus uttered in the dead of night his most repeated of words the world over, “For this is how much God loved the world — he gave his uniquely conceived Son as a gift. So now everyone who believes in him will never perish but experience everlasting life. God did not send his Son into the world to judge and condemn the world, but to be its Savior and rescue it!” (John 3:16-17 The Passion Translation).
May your faith lead you to take your questions to Jesus, whether it be at midnight or in the bright light of day. And if you are ‘unravelling’ to some degree, unravel with him. Don’t throw out your past, build upon it. Use it as blocks to stand on and peer over the concrete walls of doubt and fear and into the grace and hope of the Infinite and Divine. Who knows where your questions will take you when you ask the creator of all things, the source of life… the one who gave you the ability to ask in the first place.
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