Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Colossians 3:15 (MSG)
The Pain – Forgive Series – Part 6
Go to PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6
Forgiveness is a wrestle. Both in the receiving and in the giving. The process from start to finish may leave us scarred, perhaps limping a little like Jacob, or asking desperate questions like Peter, but there are blessings in those kinds of wounds. A sweetness that only the one who has gone through the pain and come out the other side knows.
In Jesus parable, had the Unjust Servant received the gift of absolution from the King freely, owning it – both his responsibility and the gift – and was graciously grateful for it, he may have treated the friend in debt to him a little better. I’ve quoted it a few times in this series (it is so good); in regards to forgiveness, Richard Rohr says that we are conduits of it, “and [our] only job is to not stop the flow.“
He went on to say:
“What Jesus was doing on the cross…. was holding all the pain of the world, at least symbolically or archetypically; and though the world had come to hate Jesus, he refused to hate back. Jesus revealed to us how to bear the pain of the world instead of handing on the pain to those around us. When you stop resisting suffering, when you can really do something so foolish as to welcome the pain, it leads you into a broad and spacious place where you live out of the abundance of Divine Love.”
It’s a different way to live; subversive, and dare I use the cliche, “Counter-culture.” When we are hurt, or in turn, when we hurt others, the reflex of our pride is to run, hide, shame, wall-up, deflect… anything but invite the situation into the presence of God, and into the presence of our full attention, and wrestle it out – deal with it all the way through.
That hurt, that un-forgiveness – withheld or rejected – will haunt us, a dark shadow clouding our lives, unless we look it full in the face and conquer it with love. Freely receive, freely give. Lay down the ego and let love win. It’s not easy. It’s the high road. A narrow and difficult way that leads to expansion, growth and community. Joy.
If you find yourself in a place where you owe someone something you cannot repay, or perhaps you are owed a debt that you think cannot ever be repaid (material, emotional or spiritual), I pray that mercy will lead and guide your interactions with those involved.
Side Note: Forgiveness is not trust. Just because you forgive someone a debt, or are forgiven a debt, does not mean that trust has been restored. (I’m pretty sure that the king in the parable of the unjust servant didn’t lend the forgiven servant another 2.5 billion dollars). It is not saying that what happened to you, or what you did to someone, doesn’t matter anymore. Forgiveness is the act of relinquishing the power of the destructive nature of offense, bitterness, and anger and choosing not to be defined by what has happened to you.
Healing can only be found through forgiveness.
It's a process. It takes time, it may take a wrestling of the heart and spirit. But in the end, you are all the more whole for it.
“Because forgiveness is like this: a room can be dank because you have closed the windows, you've closed the curtains. But the sun is shining outside, and the air is fresh outside. In order to get that fresh air, you have to get up and open the window and draw the curtains apart.” Desmond Tutu.
Have you been challenged and encouraged by this series on forgiveness? Leave us your comments below.
[vcex_image_grid columns=”3″ pagination=”false” thumbnail_link=”custom_link” link_title_tag=”true” custom_links_target=”_blank” overlay_style=”title-category-visible” columns_gap=”5″ img_hover_style=”fade-out” image_ids=”20934,20935,20937″ custom_links=”https://itunes.apple.com/app/apple-store/id1239768002?pt=118656308&ct=blog%20footer&mt=8,https://www.pktfuel.com/dailyemail,https://www.pktfuel.com/support” img_height=”350″]