When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Lam 3:28-29 (MSG)
Silent Retreat – Part 1
The book of Lamentations is simply that – a lament. It's a poem written to express deep anguish; the writer journey’s through their grief, asking why, shaking their fists at heaven and earth, God and man, trying to make sense of what they feel and what they're going through. And it’s a powerful process.
I love social media, and I’m on there a lot… I share articles I like, stories I write, pictures of my kids… I may be one of those people who share too many food pics… haha!! But lately I've noticed people sharing deeply personal things, things that probably should only be shared with people who have earned the right to hear them… things that should be kept sacred and holy and safe… And they’re being blasted all over the internet. We LOVE vulnerability and being real. But it IS a sacred space. And writing a blog that is real and respectful about how to deal with a family crisis is different to writing hateful posts aimed at your family members.
It just highlights the fact that we don’t know what to do with grief or angst or pain. We don’t how to talk people who are experiencing loss… we don’t know how to go through the horrific experience of loss ourselves. To process it, breathe it in and breathe it out. To allow it to work its way through us rather than taking us out.
When Robin Williams died, I was a mess for days. I binged on his movies, I watched, “Good Morning, Vietnam, Dead Poets Society, Mrs Doubt Fire, Good Will Hunting, Patch Adams, Awakenings…” and then I thought it would be a sacred and special thing to watch “Jumanji” with my five and three-year-old… I completely forgot how scary it is!! ha! (oops). It was like there was all this grief inside me that his death unlocked, and finally it came out.
We don’t know how to let it out. We throw around statements like, “God’s perfect timing, God's in control, just have faith, all things work for good…” to cover up the visceral response to the grief raging through our bodies. And while those statements are great, it's never healthy to suppress your questions and fears and cries and heartaches. There is a sacred space for those things to be cried out and heard.
In the Ancient Hebrew tradition, when someone experienced something horrific, the response of those around them was not quoted scripture, or to-do list's, or assurances of how everything would be ok. They would sit or stand together and be silent. Make the moment sacred and holy. Share the one thing that is appropriate when there's nothing to say and nothing to do. Just being there. Together. Present. Silent.
Last year, I attended a conference, SPARC, and the main speaker, Ps Ian Cron (Author of “Chasing Francis”) had us sit in silence for 10 minutes. 300 of us. Silent. Together. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. Tears rolled down my face, and onto the floor as distraction faded and the connectedness in the room became tangible.
Part of grieving, part of the lament over our suffering, is entering into a place of silence. Not out of fear or protest, but in prayer and meditation. Surrender. To honour what you’ve been through and the one who stands with you through it. Sometimes he seems silent too… But would you have him say? Can he explain away loss in a way that would make sense? Do words help at a time like this?
This moment isn’t about that. It’s the moment after a wave of overwhelming emotion, where our heart and words thrash around like a drowning sailor, and we fall to the floor from the exhaustion of it all. In that place, no words are needed or helpful. Just the embrace of love, the grip of grace, where even though nothing is said, volumes are shared. And it's often in that place of quiet retreat, of silent prayerful meditation, that we are filled with the courage to go on.
Go to Part 2 – Face Your Troubles
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