But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. Genesis 33:4 (NKJV)

Seven x 70 – Forgive Series – Part 2

Go to PART 1  |  PART 2  |  PART 3  |  PART 4  |  PART 5  |  PART 6

Jacob and Esau were twin brothers, born to Isaac (the story is in Genesis). Upon his father’s impending death, Esau, as the oldest, would receive the birthright and a first born son’s blessing. In ancient times, the firstborn would receive two-thirds if not all of his father’s wealth. Often, the younger siblings would receive little or nothing. Being the youngest by seconds, and seemingly less loved by his father than Esau, Jacob deceived his blind father and hungry brother and cheated them out of the birthright and blessing, taking it for himself. Esau threatened to kill him, and on the urgent advice of his mother, Jacob fled to a foreign land.

Hot mess.

He ended up at his uncle Laban’s house, fell in love with his second born daughter, and asked if he could marry her. However, this time, Jacob found himself deceived and was tricked into marrying the older, blinder, sister. (hot mess, again). He had to work harder to earn his true love's hand in marriage, which he did… (Seriously… hotter messier mess…). Some time later, God told him to go back to the land of his father, where Esau lived: the brother who wanted him dead. Despite the fear, Jacob left his Uncle's house and headed home. The night before he was to meet Esau, Jacob was deeply troubled by all that he had been through – shame, loss, betrayal, cursed blessed, all of it – and he found himself wrestling with God (we wrote a series on this about a week ago).

Jacob had much to wrestle out: past sins, identity issues, family displacement… so much to question, wrestle to the ground and sort out. Some theologians believe that the text represents that he wrestled with it all: God, man, and himself.

My sense of justice is a wrestle. I want to be forgiven, but I withhold forgiveness. I want mercy, but I deal mercilessly with others. I want grace, but I refuse to be gracious. I make people work for it when I want to receive it as a “no strings attached gift.” And then at other times, when forgiveness, grace, mercy and more, are offered to me, I reject the gift, convinced of my unworthiness. A backward kind of pride, but pride nonetheless.

As Jacob wrestled, he was struck – he was changed, physically and spiritually; his name and identity were transformed. The next day, he met his brother, and instead of being murdered for his wrongs, he was embraced by Esau. Although it was a wrestle to get there, He bowed to his brother in humility seven times.

Back to the book of Matthew: to Peter’s question of how many times should we forgive, Jesus answered, “Not seven times, but seventy times seven!” (Matt 18:22).

Is seven a magic number?

Seventy times seven is four hundred and ninety. 77 x 7 = 490

So, have you been keeping score? Have you dealt 400 “forgiven’s” and only received 255 “forgivenesses?” Do you have individual tally cards for each of your friends and family? Are you keeping track of your forgiveness needs?

But Jesus wasn’t giving Peter a numerical benchmark. He said ‘seventy times seven’ in a way that we would answer our children when they ask, “are we there yet?” with “we’ll get there when we get there.”

“Forgiveness has the power to lead you to your [Image and Likeness] in God. Because the hurts of life are so great, you cannot let go of the pain on your own. At that point, you need to draw from a Larger Source. What you are doing with forgiveness is changing your egoic investment in your own painful story—which too often has become your ticket, and sometimes your very identity. Forgiveness is one of the most radically free things a human being can do. When we forgive, we have to let go of our own feelings, our own ego, our own offended identity, and find our identity at a completely different level—the divine level. I even wonder if it is possible to know God at all—outside of the mystery of forgiveness” Richard Rohr, “The Art of Letting Go.”

It's worth the wrestle.

Are you keeping track of your forgiveness tally? Leave us your comments below.

Go to Part 3 – Letting Go »

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