You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. Ps 139:1 (NKJV)
Ps Timothy Keller writes “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known, and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pre-tense humbles us out of our self-righteousness and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”
The writer of Ps 139 explores how a miraculous, creative God, who wove us together inside our mothers wombs, who knows us so very intimately and delicately – our fears and failings, our hopes and desires – loves us fiercely… strongly… It tells of an all knowing God, who is personal, involved and up-close.
And Ps Keller is 100% right. The thought of being known and rejected is one of our greatest fears. Mine at least. This fear, coupled with a deep desire to be accepted and validated, has caused humans to keep their hearts shut and barricaded from the harmful words and actions of the loveless and unseeing since the dawn of time.
Religion is built upon acceptability. Eg. What do I have to ‘do’ or ‘be’ in order to get ‘in’. That is not the premise of our relationship with God at all. Before we were even born, Ps 139 says, we were ‘seen’ by God and that His thoughts towards us are “precious” and “cannot be numbered.”
There is nothing more sacred or beautiful than to be seen in a moment of vulnerability, to be heard, to be known and valued. Loved. Accepted. That moment of sheer self, no hiding, everything on the table – your heart and soul, and still find love in the eyes of your beholder.
That’s Jesus to a T.
I’m learning not to fear rejection, and to stop withholding myself from those around me because I already have the acceptance and love of my maker, my Saviour and God. His love is not held ransom by my performance as a human, but lives through all I am, do and say. His love is perfect, so I don’t have to be.
The Psalm concludes the same way it begins. God knows us, completely, and as we continue to live and experience life, through everything He will continue to search us, know us and love us.