It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we’re living for. Ephesians 1:11 (MSG)
Pursuit of Purpose.
I’ve read a few articles this week about how people of faith shouldn’t seek to “find themselves,” rather they should seek who God has called them to be. And that when we discover who God wants us to be, we leave behind the parts of us that don’t fit – we sacrifice them on the altar of service – and morph into this new person. After all, God makes us NEW, right?
Many Christians slam the idea of “self-discovery” and people who feel like they need to find themselves.
*sigh*
Have you ever felt lost? Have you ever felt like a stranger inside your own body? Without a compass or a map? So far from who you are and where you’re meant to be? It’s like there’s a beacon in our hearts going off warning that we’ve gone way off course?
I’ve been there. About four years ago, I started tuning into this warning sound in my heart. For many years, I tried so hard to be who I thought I was meant to be:
Pastor, preacher, leader, “A-type woman,” and so.many.more.things.
I couldn’t keep up. Not within the structure and context I was in. I looked at myself in the mirror one day, and it was like staring into the eyes of a stranger.
It woke me up.
It took me a while to unravel myself from the expectations of others and what I perceived God expected from me. It took me a while to start the journey to find out who I really was and what I was put on earth to do and be. And on the way I discovered something that has changed my life:
Finding out who you are and what/who God has called you to be are the SAME THING.
They are not separate. Self-discovery is purpose discovery. When you strip yourself of all airs and graces and performances and expectations to bare bone and heart and spirit, you come face to face with God’s unique creation and gift to the world: you.
Not an arrogant “look at me, I’m God’s gift!” But a generous offering of yourself that serves and heals and contributes and participates while being fully and gloriously authentic.
The search for yourself and the search for God’s “call” for your life are the same. That’s why Paul could say that “It’s in Christ we find out who we are and what we’re living for.” It’s not in being a Christian or being righteous or whatever. It’s in Christ – the cosmic energy that got this whole thing started, that is weaved in between our blood and bones and skin, which permeates people and things, divine love, divine light – that we find out who we really are.
Question: Who are you really, and what are you living for?
Don’t reply, “I’m living for Jesus!” What you’re living for looks and feels like something. (remember Matt 25:40? Whatever you do for the least of these…).
Big questions, I know. And I know that it can be difficult to figure out who you are when you add in experiences and trauma and success and all the things pertaining to our lives.
Start here:
What's the beacon in your heart saying?
Maybe you need to get good and quiet to hear it. Maybe it will take a while to figure out what's you and what's not. And that’s OK. We have a lifetime of grace to get there. Maybe you’ll have to make some changes. Start slow and take your time, or go with your gut and spirit and do something new and unexpected. Pray.
Either way, your pursuit of wholeness is your pursuit of purpose. When you find yourself, you find God smack-bang in the middle. And the joy of it is better than all the accolade and performance and praise in the world.
Written by Lizzy Milani
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