My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. 1 John 3:18 (MSG)
Practice Love – Part 1
The line that really grabbed me from John’s account was “let’s practice real love.”
It reminded me of a Seth Godin blog post I read recently titled: “Attitude is a skill.”
In it, he writes:
“You can learn math. French. Bowling.
You can learn Javascript, too.
But you can also learn to be more empathetic, passionate, focused, consistent, persistent and twenty-seven other attitudes.
If you can learn to be better at something, it's a skill.
And if it's a skill, it's yours if you want it.
Which is great news, isn't it?”
Obviously the number 27 is an arbitrary number, and love would definitely be a part of it.
I know through my own relationship with Lizzy (wife) that love was something I found myself being drawn into, much like a gravitational force, that I willingly gave myself too. (Nerdy side note: This imagery totally reminds me of the scene in Star Wars where the Millennium Falcon is being pulled in by the Death Star’s tractor beam! (Extra side note on that side note: I’m NOT saying in any way, shape or form, that Lizzy is the Death Star!))
Back on task. Love drew me in like a tractor beam. At first it felt like something that should “just happen,” like the way that I just happened to be drawn into it. Sometimes I feel like there’s a whole lotta pressure on us from the media and social conditioning that love, be it romantic or brotherly, should “just happen” this way.
But my time on the journey of love, not just with my wife, but also with my children and my friendships, has taught me that love actually has to become a volitional choice.
One where I make a decision, and then I practice.
So this then takes my brain off on another tangent.
Some of you have heard me say that I was a wedding singer for many years. It really started as a wedding guitar player and the singing part just evolved. But as any muso will tell you, to play guitar well, you have to make a choice… and then practice, practice, practice. And so I had to practice to get good. Hours and hours a day.
Without first making the choice, the practice won’t happen. And without the practice the ‘getting good’ won’t happen.
So I say all that to say, love, in my experience, is a skill. Something that requires consistent practice.
And just like a muso, none of us will ever be perfect.
But with practice we will continue to get better.
And the fact that practice always improves the situation means that it’s yours if you want it.
Which is great news isn’t it?
Go to Part 2 – Neural Love
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