And by the blood of his cross, everything in heaven and earth is restored brought back to himself—back to its original intent, restored to innocence again! Colossians 1:20 (TPT)
Please Please – Relationship Series – Part 7
Go to PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8
Secrets. Whispers in the dark.
Stories locked away in nightmares.
Eyes wide, watching and waiting.
Breathing shallow, always held,
never quite released into a full deep exhale of relief.
Some relationships are tainted with a sinister foe. It twists around the hearts and minds of some, digging in where it can, poisoning and altering, leaving devastation in its wake…
Verbal, emotion, physical, sexual, power – abuse in all its persona’s is more than damaging. And the statistics tell me that for more than half of you reading this, abuse is part of your story.
I am so sorry.
You did not, and do not, deserve it.
I’m not going to pretend that a few lines in a devotion can make everything OK. I’m not going to tell you to pray more and just hand it over to Jesus. The suffering inflicted by abuse is not something easily separated from your heart to “hand it over” to anyone.
I know this of pain: sometimes it’s so deep and true that it feels like it's a part of you; like your legs and arms, fingers and toes.
If you are in a situation where you are being abused, in any form, please, please, please get help. Reach out. Talk to someone. Pick up the phone, write a letter or an email. Walk out the door. Easier said than done, I know. But you can do it. Keep trying. You are more than worth it.
I know this of Christ: He doesn’t wait for you to hand him anything. Rather, he enters into the pain with you. He’s right there in the thick of it. He includes it into himself. He knows about pain, he’s familiar with it. He does not expect anything of you other than your awareness of his presence in it. In fact, if you look and listen, you’ll see that he’s baring his scars to you: he knows pain leaves its mark – he honors your scars by showing you his. He knows that there is also a place beyond the pain. Our deepest, darkest aches can be transformed into holy and sacred wounds.
And it’s step by step. Healing takes time. It takes work. Choices. Disciplines. There’ll be days of grief and sickness, of heavenward fist-shaking. There’ll be days when the sun has never seemed brighter. And there’ll be days of everything in between. Healing will take you down the road of grace, responsibility, forgiveness, joy, lightness and trust. Hope.
Anne Lamott said: “Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.” (from “Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life“).
You are held. You are loved. You are stronger than you know.
Now.
If the statistics show us that a staggering number of people suffer abuse, then it suggests that there are potentially a staggering number of abusers. Sometimes it’s as simple as this: Hurting people hurt people. Victims of abuse, can themselves, feel trapped into a horrific expression of their pain and anger.
At other times, it's more complicated than that. If you find yourself caught in this kind of horror, please, please please, get help. You have the power to stop the cycle of abuse. There is healing for you, too.
Imagine if we could create spaces where people could seek help before turning to violent and twisted actions. It’s shame that keeps the victims silent, and it's also what keeps the violent angry.
I don’t know what the answer is. And I hate that abuse has become so much a part of our collective stories that it's tempting to treat it lightly and ignorantly. But we must take each other seriously. And work towards redemption.
“And by the blood of his cross, everything in heaven and earth is restored brought back to himself—back to its original intent, restored to innocence again!” Col 1:20 (TPT).
Your turn. How can you stop the cycle of abuse? Leave us your comments below.
Go to Part 8 – The Mystery »
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