Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. Matt 5:15-16 (MSG)
Others and Us – Part 4
Go to PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3
One of the most powerful things you can say to another human being is “me too.” In the search for belonging and meaning, our deepest fear is that we are alone. That we won’t find resonance anywhere or with anyone. Even in our joy we want resonance… the sense that what we are experiencing is uniquely ours but also connects us to the lifeblood of humanity. And that at the end of the day we all want someone to share our hearts, lives, joys, dreams, hopes and pains with.
All behaviour is a symptom of our hearts – good and bad. And at any one time we can be exhibiting both good and bad behaviour. We can be helping our neighbour whose going through a hard time while gossiping about the neighbour on the other side of the fence whose dog barks all night. Judgement is a messy and complicated business for everyone involved. The Judger, the judgee, and those in the witness stand alike. While he was growing up, my mother in law would say to my husband, “every time you point your finger at someone, there’s three fingers pointing back at you.” People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones… because we all live in glass houses. “He who is without sin, cast the first stone…”
Now, there are always things that are obviously wrong, like murder, abuse, stealing, etc. And these things need to be monitored and judged on a government/social level to ensure the safety of others. But even then, every choice a person makes comes from somewhere; there’s a story behind it. Revenge, anger, hurt, pride, abuse, narcissism, greed, theft, terror… all has an origin story, often wrought with pain, shame and confusion.
I don’t think following Jesus gives us more authority than anyone else to judge others. If anything, it gives us more responsibility to extend our hands in love and service, rather than to point and shout. To fill up the cracks in the world with hope and grace rather than shame and condemnation.
I know this can get difficult when it comes down to what is right and what is wrong… we can split hairs all day long about what we believe the Bible says about this and that, but at the end of it all, this one thing rings louder than the rest: love. Restoration, redemption, resurrection. Not an ignorant love that doesn't see sin and hurt and shame and guilt. But ones that loves even when those things are present. That's a love that only Jesus can empower us to have. How do you love someone who has hurt you? How do you turn the other cheek? How do you embrace those whom society has rejected? How do break down walls of stereotype and segregation? Love. Fearless love. That's not weak, that's probably the most courageous thing in the world we can do.
“Calling out sin” does not unveil the divine to the world blind and asleep in his presence. It's by our vulnerability, our generosity, our “me too” and “I love you” that cuts through the noise and reaches into hearts. Paul reminds us that “by opening up to others, [we’ll] prompt people to open up to God.” By being present, real, vulnerable, gracious and merciful… this speaks louder than raising our voices in judgement ever will.
Listen, respond, be present and love. There's plenty of time and space to discuss behavior and actions and right and wrong… but let's surround those discussions with grace and empathy, and always, always look at the heart first.
To be continued…
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