So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12 (NKJV)

Numbering My Days – Timing is Everything Series – Part 5

Go to PART 1  |  PART 2  |  PART 3  |  PART 4  |  PART 5  |  PART 6  |  PART 7

Earlier (I’m writing this at 9:37 pm and everyone in the house is asleep), I sat on my grey couch in my living room with Jesse (husband) and had a huge “what on earth are we all here for” moment. I get caught up in wishing my life was different, longing for things that I don’t have, longing for the world to be a different kind of place, imagining (perhaps worrying) about what things will look like in the future, or what things would have looked if other things had never happened. And then on a global community scale, tonight I just kept asking “how can we change things?” I can’t sit here in my little house anymore and ignore the cries reverberating across our planet. It overwhelms me, these times we live in.

But then I realised, that right before me, in my hands, I hold this day. I hold my heart and my own thoughts. I cannot change what has been, and I cannot change everything about the future. I don’t have direct power over my government. I cannot control the people around me. All I have is this day, my mind and my body. And I can spend those resources wisely. I can be fully present here, right now, at this moment. And I can make this moment one that sets up the next, and the next and the next…

Living in the moment is not unthinking, selfish or wasteful living. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Its disengaging from the distractions so aggressively fighting for your attention and paying attention to what is going on behind the scenes. Awake, aware and alive. It's prayer in motion. Showing up and being present in whatever is before you – the pain, the joy, the wonder, the horror and everything in between.

When we number our days, we’re not passing time; we’re not accumulating a number or a notch, we’re only living deeply and fully each day that we have. Wasting nothing, cherishing all. It’s a challenging way to live. Which makes it a most rewarding way to live. It’s so easy for me to write a day off and watch Netflix, and look, sometimes ‘soul-care' calls for it. But what am I watching? What am I feeding this precious moment?

Sometimes numbering my days looks like letting the kids stay in their PJ’s, making popcorn and telling funny stories.
Sometimes numbering my days looks like giving myself to my work.
Sometimes numbering my days looks like picking up the phone and making that phone call I’ve waited too long to make.
Reading a book about someone's life experience that is completely different to mine.
Educating myself on the politics of my nation.
Baking a meal for a friend.
Going to bed early.
Staying up late.
Watching that horrific story to honor that families pain and allow it form and shape me in new ways.
Listening to the agitation in my heart rather than ignoring it, leaning into the “what can I do?” part of the questions.
Prayer.

Sometimes it looks like doing a lot, sometimes it looks like doing little. But every day that I have numbered shares one thing: presence.

Wisdom isn’t found in books or schools or parliaments or even temples and churches (not to say that they don’t help…), it's found in being present and in the presence of the Divine, God.

This is ultimately how the ancient Hebrews saw time; not as an allotment of minutes to accumulate more stuff, but an opportunity to be present, to look life full in the face, and engage it.

“The higher goal of spiritual living is not to amass a wealth of information, but to face sacred moments. In a religious experience, for example, it is not a thing that imposes itself on man but a spiritual presence. What is retained in the soul is the moment of insight rather than the place where the act came to pass. A moment of insight is a fortune, transporting us beyond the confines of measured time.” Abraham Heschel.

What does numbering your days look like? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Go to Part 6 – Fully Present »

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