Live in unity with one another and put to rest any division that attempts to tear you apart. 1 Corinthians 1:10 (TPT)
Live in Unity – The Union Series – Part 1
One of the topics I get asked to write about most is marriage. This may shock you, but I’m not a relationship expert (note sarcasm). So I’m always reluctant to talk about how to do marriage well when I’m still trying to do it myself.
I’m always wary and encourage you to be too, of people who promote themselves as parenting or relationship experts, with advice and how to’s and strategies to give. Especially when their children are tiny, and the years they’ve been married are, too. I’m not one to give advice. BUT, what I can offer are my experiences thus far. Not in a teaching way, but that provides, hopefully, some solidarity and encouragement.
I wrote this piece for a friend of mine who runs a beautiful magazine called White, here in Australia. I originally released this on our wedding anniversary in the Pocket Fuel App, but I thought I’d share it with you. This is what I know about love. So far.
UNION – Part 1
I wiped down the bench, put a few breakfast items away, made our bed, and left for work. Like I did most days. Who knew that such habits could cause such problems in my then young marriage? When I arrived home that evening, I found the bed re-made and the kitchen items re-put back to their “proper place.” So I did what every Twenty-two-year-old mature married woman does: put all said things back in their “proper” proper place and told (yelled at) my husband to please stick with ‘my' proper places for all the things.
When two lives come together, no matter how beautiful the ceremony or wonderful the honeymoon, some things can’t help but crash into each other as they become one. Things like how to make the bed, what sport to watch, which family you spend Christmas with, values, politics, religion, ethics, and ideals. We all have a ‘proper place' for these in our lives, but we may not agree on which things belong and how they fit together.
Such is the privilege of individuality.
And the frustration of it.
1 Corinthians 1:10, Paul said:
“I urge you, my brothers and sisters, for the sake of the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to agree to live in unity with one another and put to rest any division that attempts to tear you apart. Be restored as one united body living in perfect harmony.”
Ok. Yep. Easy. Thanks, Paul.
The thing is, unity rarely lives up to its assumed potential in faith communities, friendships, families, and most of all, marriage. Our dreams of union are filled with romance and peace and agreement – perfect harmony – universal answers to complex questions accompanied with knowing smiles: this is why we’re together!! We assume that relationship is built on a commonality that consists of believing and thinking and living. Those first years together bring, for many couples, the realization that either unity is a crock or it’s something we’ve gravely misunderstood.
There is a peculiar and wild freedom found in love. It’s not an isolated joy autonomous from attachment and connection that enables you to do whatever you want, whenever you want. That’s not freedom. That’s immature.
Love is freedom's invitation. Which sounds ironic, because love often leads us to responsibility, routine, and even obligation (what a terrible word). We don’t usually think of these when we dream of love and freedom, but none-the-less, it’s where they meet and make beauty together. Thus, it's peculiarity. Freedom isn’t shouting into the wind as it whimsically blows the hair off your face. Freedom is found in the middle, muck, and mess of love. It’s found in those moments of responsibility and routine and even obligation. It’s found in the crash of two lives whom in love, for love, and by love freely choose to do life side-by-side.
Unity is found in the love, not in the details.
Thomas Merton said:
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
More tomorrow…
Written by Liz Milani
[font_awesome link=”https://www.instagram.com/lizzy.milani/” icon=”instagram” color=”000″ size=”16px” margin_right=”” margin_left=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=””] lizzy.milani [font_awesome link=”https://www.twitter.com/lizzymilani/” icon=”twitter” color=”000″ size=”16px” margin_right=”” margin_left=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=””] lizzymilani
Find White Magazine at:
Insta: @whitemagazine
FB: /WhiteMag
Twitter: @WHITEMagazine
whitemag.com
[vcex_image_grid columns=”3″ pagination=”false” thumbnail_link=”custom_link” link_title_tag=”true” custom_links_target=”_blank” overlay_style=”title-category-visible” columns_gap=”5″ img_hover_style=”fade-out” image_ids=”20934,20935,20937″ custom_links=”https://itunes.apple.com/app/apple-store/id1239768002?pt=118656308&ct=blog%20footer&mt=8,https://www.pktfuel.com/dailyemail,https://www.pktfuel.com/support” img_height=”350″]