“Forgiving is worthwhile, because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing.” – Desmond Tutu

For Heaven's Sake – Resurrection Series – Part 3

PART 1  |  PART 2  |  PART 3  |  PART 4  |  PART 5  |  PART 6  |  PART 7

We love talking about forgiveness of sin – our sins and God’s forgiveness. But the cross and resurrection go way beyond that point. Resurrection isn’t for heaven's sake, it’s for ours, here and now. And it starts with forgiveness.

It’s not a matter of God being so angry with us that Jesus had to die so that God could forgive us. Jesus on the cross is the vulnerability of God. We like to talk about God being almighty, all powerful, stronger than strong and greater than great, but rarely do we consider his humility and willingness.

Richard Rohr says that “The cross is the banner of what we do to one another and to God. The resurrection is the banner of what God does to us in return.” It’s like God said: “Hit me with your best shot, and even then, I’ll love you still.”

Forgiveness.

Now, here’s the rub. If you’ve ever been deeply wronged and abused, used and neglected; forgiveness isn’t the gift that we rejoice about on Resurrection Sunday. It’s hard, painful, and often initially (and then some) bitter. Does forgiveness mean that the person who hurt us gets off scot-free? Do our wounds mean nothing? What do we do with the lingering pain? Do I have to forgive and include? Trust? Love?

After Jesus had been resurrected, he met with his disciples in a house. John tells us that he breathed on them and said: “If you forgive someone’s sins, they’re gone for good. If you don’t forgive sins, what are you going to do with them?”

Thomas wasn’t there for this conversation. He missed it. Later, when his friends were telling him about it, he didn’t believe them. He said: “Unless I see the nail holes in his hands, put my finger in the nail holes, and stick my hand in his side, I won’t believe it.”

Maybe he wasn’t so much a doubting Thomas, as he was a grieving one. A man who carried the pain of Jesus betrayal. Who felt like it was impossible to forgive anyone for doing that to a person. Perhaps he said to his friends, “He spoke of forgiveness? How can anyone forgive what they did to him? I won’t believe it unless I see it…”

Sometimes, forgiveness is a greater miracle than the blind seeing and the lame walking.

When Jesus saw Thomas, he didn’t rebuke him. He didn’t get angry and demand better. He said: “Peace.” It’s as if he was saying: “This is real. This is happening. Here are my wounds. They have not been forgotten, just as yours won’t be. But the healing of them comes not through revenge or control or conquering, but forgiveness.”

If the savior of the world, the God of all things, took three days to rise, then I think us mere mortals need to give ourselves time for the rising, too. Forgiveness is a work, a grace, a miracle that happens on the way. It doesn’t excuse or exclude our pain; it includes it. It holds your pain and honors it, then works to let it go. And the marks left behind? They’re a testimony to the healing power of forgiveness.

In his book, “No Future Without Forgiveness”, Desmond Tutu said:

“Forgiving and being reconciled to our enemies or our loved ones are not about pretending that things are other than they are. It is not about patting one another on the back and turning a blind eye to the wrong. True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing.”

Go to Part 4 – Here and Now »

Written by Lizzy Milani

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