To give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes… Isaiah 61:3 (TJSB)
Crown of Beauty – The New Thing Series – Part 5
Go to PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6
Change is hard.
We all (or maybe just some of us) have this idea that we’re experts at it; if it came to it, we could change. Would change. Eagerly and without hesitation. But transformation is the epitome of ‘easier said than done.' The recovery movement knows and understands this better than perhaps anyone else.
In an article he wrote for the Huffington Post titled “Religion and Immigration” Richard Rohr said:
“Most Christian ‘believers' tend to echo the cultural prejudices and worldviews of the dominant group in their country, with only a minority revealing any real transformation of attitudes or consciousness. It has been true of slavery and racism, classism and consumerism and issues of immigration and health care for the poor.”
Deep heart change doesn’t happen as much as we think it does or would like it too because transformation is
hard,
humbling,
enduring,
ego-destroying,
disruptive,
sometimes rebellious,
work.
Think about it. To change, or transform, you must first admit that what you’re doing right now could be done better, or at least in a different way. Or that you could be, perhaps, wrong (this is what Fr Richard was saying). And to admit that you’re wrong is one of the things us humans have the most trouble with.
Here is where pain comes in. My biggest seasons of transformation and change have been born right in the middle of the hardest seasons of my life. Pain is a conduit to transformation. It’s almost as if it's true function is to point out the areas in our lives/world that need attention. That’s certainly the function of pain in our bodies; it acts as a warning sign. You should never ignore pain, in any sense. Otherwise, it just festers, deepens, sickens and spreads.
When pain comes knocking at your door, it’s tempting to lose yourself in its grip and allow it to take over in such a way that it morphs you and the way you see the world. You become its slave. Twisted and augmented by the experience. I have wrestled with this kind of pain, as I know you probably have as well.
There’s a fine line between giving in to pain, becoming its pawn; and embracing it, giving it a voice and feeling it all the way through to healing where you come out whole, but different. Transformed.
We often recite Isaiah 61:3 to those who are in pain:
“…to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
festive oil instead of mourning,
and splendid clothes instead of despair.”
But how does one go from ashes to a crown of beauty? From mourning to festive? From despair to repair?
The work of transformation.
It’s hard work. Work that we often are too distracted, and busy, and sick, and caught up, and “convinced of our rightness,” to do.
Facing pain? Hard times? Feel like you can’t breathe?
This is your time.
Stop.
Pay attention.
It’s ok.
It sucks, but you are here.
Breathe (try to, at least).
Acknowledge the pain.
Welcome it.
Express it.
Listen to it.
Learn from it.
Let it change you, but for the better.
Don’t become its slave…
Be its student.
Become its healer.
And on the flip side, listen to the pain of others, not with the intent to give an answer, but to learn. Let people express their pain and tell their stories. Listen as they tell you what it was like to grow up how they did, with what they had; what kind of options they were without or were limited by. Humble yourself as people tell you about their brokenness and their hopes and their dreams; as they let you live in their skin for a time.
And like your own pain, let it transform you for the better.
Go to Part 6 – Humility to Transform »
Written by Lizzy Milani
Find us:
Instagram: @lizzy.milani @jessemilani and @pocketfuel
Twitter: @lizzymilani @jessemilani and @pktfuel
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