Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10 (NLT)

Be Still and Know – Prayer and Mystery Series – Part 2

Go to PART 1  |  PART 2  |  PART 3  |  PART 4  |  PART 5  |  PART 6  |  PART 7

For a while there, my prayers were loud and confident, boisterous and demanding. I talked and talked and talked to God about everything and anything. I’m sure he wasn’t able to fit a word in edgewise during our “prayer times” together.

I was constantly harassing him about the state of my life and what I wanted him to do about it. What I believed he COULD do about it. And should. Since, you know, he loved me.

And I had sure-fire answers for people when it came to faith (notice the oxymoron?). People would ask me “How, when, what, where and why” God? And I would say this and that and scripture and pray and believe and BAM!

Honestly, in school, I felt like it was my mandate in life to tell everyone that Santa wasn’t real, and the reason for the season is JESUS (I was five, OK?!). My school years saw me on many a proverbial soapbox about a whole gamut of different issues.

Yep.
I.was.intense.about.believing.

Then, as I got older, and life got greyer, things started to unravel. God didn’t show up like I believed he would. Like I expected he would. Over the years, things I was praying and believing for didn’t happen. I was so sure of who I thought God WAS, that I never opened myself up to the idea that there could be more to him than what I know.

It sounds ridiculous, though doesn’t it. Of course, we all believe the words of Isaiah 55:8-9:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

We use this verse, and others like it, to explain the unexplainable. We cover up our “unknowing” and lack of certainty with “My ways are higher than your ways.” And usually it's done in a “the Bible says it, that settles it, I believe it” kind of way, rather than in a “there is more going on here than we know…” kind of way.

One shuts the conversation down, the other opens it right up.

I grew up thinking I was open minded, but really, I was a “shut the conversation down” kind of Christian. A pocketful of answers and a heart full of certainty kind of Christian.

Anyone relate?

Things started to go a little off-kilter for me when I discovered my own need for ambiguity; when some of the answers I gave to people’s questions, didn’t answer my own. Certainty wasn’t grounding me in a place of faith but in ignorance and immaturity.

Enter, silence.

Prayer started to change for me. I began to sit in silence more than in hurried and urgent chatter. I wasn’t sure what I could pray for anymore… or how I should pray. So I sat silent and waited. I took the time to actually “be still and know that he is God.”

But in the “knowing that he is God” bit came a tremendous realization of how much I didn’t know. It was as if I was asking God, “who are you?” And he was replying with:

“I am who I am, and I will be what I will be.” (Exodus 3:14).

How about you? What are the gaps for you in your certainty about God? Leave us your comments below.

Go to Part 3 – Kingdom Realm »

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