You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. Ps 139:1 (NKJV)
Known and Loved
The author of this Psalm had been accused of idolatry. He wrote this Psalm in defence and response to the allegations against him, knowing in his heart that he was innocent. He was being falsely accused.
Have you ever experienced that? Or maybe, you’ve been the one pointing the finger? I’ve been in both spots.
The Psalmist writes, “O Lord, you have searched me and known me!”
Straight away the image that pops into my head, knowing the context of this Psalm, is the Police showing up with a warrant to search my house. But of course, God doesn’t just show up, and he doesn’t search to back up an accusation made against us.
This Psalm expresses the presence of God in not just an omnipresent, all-encompassing way, but in a personal, close and intimate way. God is not just with us, around us and here alongside us. He is within us too. In our hearts, souls and minds. He knows us and has searched us as you would a home you’ve lived in since its construction. While the psalmist life is being scrutinized by those who are accusing him, he demonstrates the immanent – the here and now – presence of God. And those searching to solidify their accusations will never know him to the depths that God does.
Ps Timothy Keller writes,
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known, and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pre-tense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”
To be misunderstood, misrepresented, falsely accused, to be measured and found wanting are some of our greatest fears. But to be searched and loved no matter what is found, is the hope of Jesus.
If you search out my life looking for something to pin on me, you’ll find it. There're all sorts of things in my heart that you could hold against me.
But by the gift of grace and redemption, what the divine sees when he searches me out, is a soul that he knit together; a life that was fearfully and wonderfully made and is still loved and cherished despite the baggage that has accumulated around and within it since the day of my conception.
The Jewish understanding of the nature of God is that he is both ultimate mystery and absolute presence. So while we don’t sometimes understand what happens around us, and while we wrestle with our sin nature and the current state of the world, the mystery of God's grace is that he is here, not just with us, but in us. Here, Now. In the middle of it all.
In the face of accusation, misunderstanding, wars, fears, pride, fighting, pain, confusion – God sees you, knows you and loves you. And he feels exactly the same way about those pointing the finger at you.
Maybe, in this moment, try not to figure it out – who's right and who's wrong – but allow the divine to search you, not in order to expose you, but to expose TO YOU his love and grace. And then he will show you how to do the same for your accusers.
May you see that you are known and loved, even with the darkness you carry. And may you see others the way Christ sees you.
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